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The Unexpected Virtue of Spoilness- How I obtain most of my money

August 7, 2015

Happy Friday August 7, 2015 World

It’s that time of year for me again where I tune into the beginning of a “new year” and the milestones. I have 23 days until my 40th birthday; and my brother and I always have the birthday conversations because we are 11 months apart; spending 30 days the exact same age.

Yesterday a family member mentioned in a conversation “people leaving them”,  they had No One;  “they ALL ran out”- I expressed to her that although I have been mistreated, I can never recall a moment where I have been alone with no one to run too.

I also have read several remarks about the things we as women put up with to have a man. -NOW please be clear I am not saying I haven’t been this woman, but I know and Love the woman I have become NOW; and I know I have been this woman more than the foolishness, with aa added confession admitting there have been some  counted severely foolish moments.

I am now reflecting on who is on my side, who has been on my side, and what relationships have enhanced my Life the most in these 39 years, 342 days – I can testify that at this moment my best relationships are males, my best relationships have always been males and even when a male “moves on” he is replaced by a MALE.

Now here is the unexpected virtue of spoilness –  in the life lived thus far as mainly a single black female who was/ can be a “tid bit” wild and “slightly” outgoing that has crossed much male in my days-  in these best relationships recalled there was never ever any sex involved nor any indication of sex. For me always when shit really gets rough there will ALWAYS BE A MALE IN MY FAMILY I CAN TURN TOO!!!! THIS IS HOW IT HAS BEEN FOR ME AND THIS IS HOW IT IS NOW and TRUTHFULLY I PRAY THAT THIS COVERING WILL ALWAYS BE WITH ME IN EVERY SHAPE, FORM and FASHION!!!

What has been killing and blinding this Blessing is pride, culture, and yes labels. You see for me and my color it’s called spoilness, laziness, dependent, childish, and many other negative things – in the world of “privileged” it’s your inheritance, this is your order, man protects woman, and most importantly it is a Blessing to be Loved so much by your Family and opposite sex that no matter how old your over grown raising hell living at home with your ma ass is- we will never really see you go without.  Yes there is much I must accomplish and in a world were so much is given the challenge of me gaining my own is more of challenge than meets the eye simply because I have to learn late how to go for things that’s always given. I got so caught up in big or small compared to others, I have always had this Blessing as far back as I can remember.

Yes God Blesses the child who has His own but when he consistently and constantly provides this covering when you don’t even ask for it- ‘”MY Father shall supply all my needs” and please understand I always have a job, I always work, and I always, always 🙂 – as stated how I obtain most of my money and truthfully the amounts that added to impact- God sends the covering.

Am I the wealthiest woman alive, I have bills beyond bills, but as I mentioned to my brother Toussaint in our 1st conversation of the 30 days – he asked “how do I feel about to turn 40″ – my answer ” I am not no where near what the fuck I had planned in my life and how I thought I would be living , nor what I want I to be- whatever that was.  I would be a fool not to be grateful for the GOOD NEW, and the New – I am experiencing right “now”

In pride I am the ” borrower”, Felicia, the person who needs the hair- do, $20 and vitals.

In privilege I am grateful for my Cousin Stanley, who last week offered a gift to party on his birthday- and again Bless the offering, or today I drive Norman’s car, and I live on the land my family worked for with my granddad as head, and so much more.

In this unexpected Virtue of Spoilness I share these words and prayers I am Love, I receive Love in this “unexpectedness”, and I can be more times than I should this Pride “Fulled Colored Girl” who is a “borrowing child” of God and the Men in my world don’t mind, they look forward too it. Thank You Father God once again for all the Beautiful Spirited Men of Your Kingdom. I don’t have to be perfect when I am honest.

Today Father God I Thank You for your son Jesus, who works through My dad, my granddads, my Brothers, my cousins, my family friends and my son, Jayson Otts who gave me the best motivational speech this week for loving me just as I am

Now please know the $50k plus is still needed, and will be greatly used for school is coming, two TV’s, microwave, printer, and air unit all went out this week – I still Thank God for the eyes to continue to Praise.  Lift each other up regardless of big or small.

One Comment
  1. PS and the vacuum cleaner

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