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My Dec 8th message to FB Family and Friends

December 8, 2014

Hello FB New Years is here already 🙂 What can I say other than I honestly said anything I plan never goes how I plan and thus I end up being a liar ( I wrote on Tuesday November 25, 2014 that I would not return to FB until Jan 2015 today is Jan 2015 🙂 )

So here I am here on FB because I want to share with as many as will read

Yesterday was a troubling freeing day for me- and I see as much as I aim to separate, “hide”, or stay to myself- Life will not allow it- and truthfully neither should I

I am here and designed in God’s image to Love and Be Loved – and when I fail to share this Love and Love – I am failing God – and failing God matters much to me and  in these last ten years -I am not afraid to Live my Life in a manner of not to fail GOD-

Most times I move in silence and alone or with my kids, or kids- in the last ten years I can count on my fingers how many times I have been out with people other than my kids, or kids- I have functions and places I go where other adults attend which are usually family functions-however on average me with adults or me being the type of person to have a girls night out- or lunch with friends, etc. – nope not the kid- I would rather go bar hopping ALONE- than to be with more than two people and have to share a car with them -The most contradictory thing about my Life is I have and always live not giving a fuck about what people think of me although I have allowed painful words to hurt me; me reducing the number of people I am around was my aim to limit how many people are going to say anything about me, and what I am doing; what’s even crazier was in this limiting, I was limiting how many people who can testify to the good and GOD in me.

I work, take care of my kids, and I come out very little. I am home most times washing clothes, looking at TV or games, and smoking my trees. But as a smoker I have crossed many and what can I say the streets have always been ugly, thus I have gotten ugly names more than I should. I can come out to buy trees but the streets will say look at her- she up to something- yes I am up to something its called buying trees; that’s all that’s it- but what’s even crazier is when the streets play a big part in your home -how do you escape from all the talk speculations, and just plain old lies and hate about you, what you are supposedly doing, and who you are supposed to be.

Yesterday was an example- that if I am hated and lied on so much at home by the very ones who are around you the most and claim they love you so much- how in the world am I to be Love or Loved and accepted by people outside of my home? Can you see how Love and confidence is so hard for me?

What came clear out of all the yelling, fussing, and cursing yesterday was freeing, because in all that trouble, the Hate and Lies were real and damaging but so was the Love. And this time in that moment I allowed that Love to surpass and outweigh the hate and lies.

Yesterday I had FIVE people stand with me, WOMEN at that. And to know Niki is one thing -to know the history of Niki and females, LORD AW MERCY

However each Woman stood because at the end of they day they all could say NIKI has done nothing towards them- other than be a woman who loves to smoke her trees and take care of her kids – That’s all that’s it- she helps in every way she can, she shares, and she is not out to cause any trouble, be in your business,  lie to you or about you. To see hate in people from me just being me- and to be lied about more than once by more then one “family” member was painful to experience but I was glad to see Truth and what really stands.

Yesterday caused many emotions I was so mad to face but it was so clear and important that I had to recognize the Love and Truth that STOOD UP was STRONG!!! And from that mess I had today’s message that I decided to share and I will continue to share to as many as possible- that we have to learn to let Love Win- because when LOVE wins everyone becomes Free.

Happy Monday FB – 22 days remain in the year and a powerful year it continues to BE- with my trees and ALL

Revised and slightly re- written February 5, 2015

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One Comment
  1. You won’t have that issue if you move to Colorado! It is legal here. lol 😉

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