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November 13, 2014- Asking and Understanding

November 13, 2014

As I continue to work effectively on communication, understanding, and most importantly SHARING MY STORY- An important factor showing is as much as I think I know- I don’t; and Truth be told even further the majority of the times I fail to MATURELY Ask or Inquire- and to take it a step further most times I have cared less to know or ask- but too much is revealing and I have MUCH to ask.

And the only way I will have any type of understanding of anything outside of myself is to seek answers in some shape, form, or fashion in order to provide answers when possible. And as much as my mind races to say this or that- until I see, experience, or just ask I will never actually know- I can only think, assume, or wonder- And as time and memories overlap and intertwine- I have to learn to accept each moment as that moment in itself and if I want understanding of what I am facing -then in that moment is the time to inquire.

The more I aim to suppress everything I face and have faced, the more I will continue to go through it until – I actually face it and speak on it honestly- Asking the question what is that I have learned from this, will show the lesson learned.

See what is not a lie is the amount of opposition I have faced and will face, simply because as long as I continue to Live my life to serve someone other than myself opposition will come. And I will proudly say again I have lived my life serving someone other than myself since I was 6 years of age- I have always worked to be of Service and aim to help as many as possible – This is the one trait and characteristic that stands no matter what- As God is showing me more- being this way was never about the person or me- this is one of my God given ways and mindsets to always look for a way, solution, or option to help to the fullest if I can.

What is the lie- is the belief that I was the one who had the Authority to do it- Yes I am a vessel- but it is not me who is doing it- I have to slow down to hear God’s direction more in order to honestly deliver on any help I offer

So when I get in the way and start to promise this or that, planning this or that- I become a liar- because it is and was never in my Authority to be doing it anyway-especially when again I am the one in need more than I want to admit too; and I see this too will continue to happen until I ask and get the help I am so often aiming to be and give.

Sometimes I say I am facing what I face because of my past- other times I know I am facing what I face because I fail to take a stand- In all times I will go through what I go through because its this thing called Life and we all have our path. In the gaining of understanding I see most of what I face can be and will be solved if I just Properly and Maturely Ask what’s really on my heart and mind-and allow God to Lead.

Revised February 5, 2015

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