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Where I Keep My Private Keepsakes

April 9, 2014

Where I Keep My Private Keepsakes
written September 1, 2011
by Niki Alston

I began keeping journals since I was 12 years old. At one time I recorded everything that happened, every thought, and my day’s activities in complete details. As I became older, I would only record my thoughts and my prayers. Often I refer to 2007 as a year that things “shift” and a Change came over my Life. I was a parent of three with a man who loved me much yet didn’t know how to love me at all. And many ideas from 5 years prior to 2007 seem to resurface with more details and understanding. And I saw myself releasing and holding to much at the same time. In 2008 the journals had a new meaning and the things I recorded were dreams, desires, “deep” thoughts and heartfelt prayers.

So on a summer’s night in July of 2008 I decided to release those journals I had cherished so much and all moments(journals) written prior to 2002 were tossed into a grill and set a blazed with much lighter fluid to ensure burning them to ashes.

March 3, 2000 I wrote my 1st “message”. The thoughts released where bigger than what I lived.

2001 I had traveled farther than I had ever traveled before

2002 I realized I had Loved someone like never before and never told him so

2003 – 2007 I lived making choices that didn’t make much sense at all yet my writing increased tremendously

2009 I accomplished a goal that took me 15 years to complete

2010 No matter what I was going through I knew my Life would never be the same. I could sense a “greatness” enhancing inside; letting me know my Life is bigger than Me

2011 Truth is beginning to reveal” The Good, The Bad, The Ugly and The Crazy.”

This task was presented in writer’s group with a prompt or question about your most secret places; And even as I reflect on my journals I realize my private keepsakes for me is what goes on in my mind and my heart. My material keepsakes are photos from my past and some inheritances to come. Although I burned a few of them also.

I have always had a “funny” way with materials possessions easy come easy go is what my lips would often sing. “Grew tough skin when that song showed me what it can bring.” I went from being a person who gave items away every 30 days to keep from repeating, to being a person who had to pick up what was left on the curve for not be able to repeat that pay in 30 days.

2009 I agreed to a life of no secrets

2011 Was my 3rd time seeing I can lose it all, so it’s better to let “most” things go if you have to

Shared my thoughts of life with no secrets with another not sure if it’s safe to call her friend or foe “family” is what she said she was. Couldn’t believe her face when she approached me saying “Niki we know everything”

Couldn’t believe my face when her I told her “don’t you remember our conversation we had the month before, telling you myself that I don’t live in secrets no more.”

Just because I am not advertising where I been or telling what I do; That doesn’t mean I am trying to keep secrets. I only tell my mind and heart what I truly desire to do. And when I take the time to write and share with the world even some of things in my and heart are not so private anymore.

Revised and “re-written” February 4, 2015


From → entertainment, Muse

One Comment
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