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Reflections, Sunday of July 21, 2013

July 22, 2013

Yesterday again my mind was taking in much and the thoughts racing had me thinking about much more.- My role as a parent, my life, the choices I have made, and the experience of “physically” engaging to make a difference.

As the evening went on and I watched Oprah’s Lifeclass – the words “define yourself” had a different ring to them.  Yesterday I saw parents including myself bring their children out for a cause greater than us and during this moment I became more grateful than ever before for what our forefathers bared to ensure we have the “freedom” and the “equality” we have today. I observed how even in a crowd I couldn’t find or use my voice to shout and express what I wanted. I saw how we as people have to be proud of how far we have came yet we must observe and acknowledge that we are far too complacent. I saw that as I marched although I didn’t shout I made an action to do more than just talk I walked. And as all the day and week events rewind in my head- that final question of the night “how do I define myself” couldn’t have summed up the week better

How do I define myself ? and can I truly grasp that “the mission I am on is so important that I  cannot afford to worry about what people think. I must go anyway.” (paraphrased from T. D. Jakes) Can I accept that although I have backed down from much and many I cannot walk away from being a voice that has written volumes and thanks to a few especially writer’s group I get to voice my passions more-Can I accept the fact that I am Worthy and all my flaws are just human errors that none are exempt from. Can I accept the fact that each day although my mind goes to some places I wish not to journey there still lives and exist a Greater vision inside- and although I have the tendency to come off “preachy”- I live a Life separate from much of the world- so my outside looking in view- has been a long look- I stayed in the window longer to study the details better than I knew

Can I accept that in my mistakes I have truly acquired a wisdom that surprises me and thus I am able to clearly define me as a woman child of GOD, a wonderful mother of three, a writer and author, who “gladly” accepts the role and the voice God has granted to me. Knowing that although my “physical” life may not reflect all the Greatness I “for” and pro- claim; I Niki Alston have to define me as all mentioned above plus Rich, Happy, Healthy and Whole until it is so- Believing, Affirming, and Confirming So it is

Added on February 3, 2015 I define myself as a person who desires to Live Life to the fullest being the best me I can be. I define myself as ever evolving human being praying to get it right.

Revised February 3, 2015

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