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Perfectionism: The Quest of Greatness Continues

Perfectionism: The Quest of Greatness Continues- was written August 14, 2017 as a submission for County Lines: A Literary Journal 2017 edition, Volume 5.  Since this piece was not selected. I am sharing it here.  I also shared in the previous post a Revised 2017 Version of the Original Piece “Perfectionism”.  “Perfectionism” was originally written in August 2013 and published in County Lines: A Literary Journal 2013 edition, Volume I.
I past shared in the original version of “Perfectionism” –  “Perfectionism- Blessing/Version/Vision- is The Greatness of God bringing out The Highest in Me to teach and be a part of Greatness for All who will receive” (County Lines, pg 37, 2013)
I now know I would share Greatness and not teach it
GREATNESS for 2017 IT IS – A theme birthed through me as I visioned the year and all I wanted it to be
Aiming to achieve this status in flesh

Has Leads to Failures and Missteps

Perfectionism is achieving the Love of God 

Being that example of Highest Self at all times 

The world says to be anything Perfect is impossible 

You are only Human

If you are not aiming to be on a stage 

What are you rising above too?

You are no better than Us

Us a – Human League -a status holding together longer than the band

Never have I claimed to be any more than 

Woman, made from man, human image of GOD

Therefore I know My Father is Within
In Perfectionism I am “my” Highest in all Possibilities of God

In Human I Struggle

In Spirit I Fly
Which would you prefer?

Perfectionism Defined 

or “Human League” a past “Dream Deferred” 
P.E.R.F.E.C.T.I.O.N.I.S.M
Purpose
Evolving 
Readily for 
Expansion of 
Compassion 
Trust 
Integrity
Openness 
Nature
Intuition 
Soul and 
Manifesting God’s Will on Earth
Perfectionism is the only Life I want to Live, Hoping I Live and Die in God’s will than to be a “Dream Deferred”.

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Perfectionism

Written August 2013, Original Version Published in County Lines: A Literary Journal- Volume I 2013 edition

Revised September 2017

“Most people are so hard to please that if they met GOD they’d probably say. ‘Yes, she’s Great, but …” – Diana Ross

Perfectionism has its opposition. I reach for things that many are content with grasping from a TV, while I watch Many More go out their way to be with those stars just to count their every flaw.

Perfectionism is a Major Impossible in the eye of Flesh. It’s Vision/ Version of “better” that keeps Me Reaching, Diving, Striving, Determined, Destined to get there.

Where is There?

Perfectionism

I refuse to believe I am as bad as the quote above, I know in the smallest of things, I am worse than the quote above.  I AM Determined as I Strive for MY Blessings/Vision/Version of “Better” I motivate my Surroundings.

I PRAISE GOD for PROMPTING ME, ENCOURAGING ME, and EQUIPPING ME to Undertsand in Knowledge through HIS WORD not Only am I Good, EVERYTHING IS GOOD. He Reminds Me that I CAN WIN as long as I “Keep My Head to The Sky”

Perfectionism

Optimism 

Yes These Lines Do Cross

Humility to show that double for your trouble goes both ways

God’s Timing of Patience Hurts, but it wont Kill.

I count the time in Impatience 

Last hours of Church, Work, and School

“Read to Go”

I Thank God because although I am rushing to Go, 

“Zoom”

I’ve come to Love

 And I Am Ready to Manifest

Spirit provides the Lessons, Experience, and TEAMS. And Life has Provided EVERYTHING I NEED

In Flesh Perfectionism is Small and Controlling

In Spirit It Will Create a Greater Order

God is Calling US ALL to Live a Level of Greatness that I Know I am Shying away from

In Spirit/Blessings/ Vision/Version  of “BETTER” I want things Greater on ALL Levels Small and Big

Perfectionism/Spirit/Blessings/Vision/Version of BETTER is Greatness of GOD bringing out the HIGHEST in ME to Share and Teach being A Part in Greatness for ALL who will receive, including ME!!!!

August 6, 2017 

I remember in the movie “Parenthood” the Grandmother shared a story about the roller coaster. She shared this story during a time in the movie when things around her were in chaos.

Once again I spent the past two weeks editing everything written thus far on this site.  And I as completed the editing, viewing my past thoughts expressed, Life for me has definitely been spent on many of these roller coasters. I am amazed at myself and the thoughts that I have, the words and feelings I have expressed, knowing in some moments I could boldly define me, and in other moments I questioned much about my existence. Those low moments for me have created a doubt that’s been hard to shake and separate.

This past Tuesday I watched a sermon that explained how one can be “Everything and Nothing at the same time”.  “How you are loved and needed over here and despised over there.”

Wednesday I expressed some things about myself, that led to me being removed from a group.  Friday after reading the majority of my site, I decided to NEVER DOUBT MYSELF AGAIN. And although I have expressed MUCH about Courage, Confidence, and Trust, this time headed into another “new year” this up and down with doubt has got to decease. Have moments of second guessing yes; although it’s time for this too, to be cut down as well.  The second guessing may surface but Trust my instincts and my inner voice over much.  That internal piece of doubt that I thought was removed but I saw how it has resurfaced each year somewhere including this past March 2017, which was reminded to me by my only writing for March 2017, doubt has got to go.

Today Sunday, 8/6/2017 at 11:16 PM after the complete reading of my site no articles remaining to be reviewed.  I understand that Life can be a roller coaster, filled with Lows and Highs. Moments of High Speed and Slowing down. Coming to complete stops to enter and exit. I can be “Everything and Nothing at the same time”; but from this moment forward with every ounce of energy in my Being never look back, and KNOW that I am Love, Peace, Soul, and Happiness; and in these states and quality nothing about doubt has Life.

Happy Sunday The 8 Month of the year, 6 days in, day 216 of 365- Thank You that I AM BLESSED with the removal of doubt from this moment forward.  GREATNESS for 2017 IT IS -is the theme for this year and there are a 149 days that remain to Make It So.  I Believe and Live All the Positive I have written and shared on this site, Greatness is the final step in the making to BE MADE!!

Happy Father’s Day 

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY 

I HONOR those who live this Title 

-May you Have a Wonderfully Blessed Day 

I Pray for the Hearts of those who want too but can’t seem to find their way

I Pray that Future Fathers’ Uphold this Privilege to their Best

I Pray for ALL Father’s whose Deeds surpass every Test 

I Pray double Blessings to the Fathers of the Fatherless.

May June 18, 2017 be a day you know that Fathers’ are LOVED and NEEDED, and WE ARE BLESSED by your ROLE

Which One Shows?

My week in review- March 19-24 7th day she resting with Everything that God Allows

Monday was Perfect

Tuesday- Thursday – WTF

Friday – I spoke from you know what – but here’s the thing – I sat down at 7 PM to get back in align with the schedule and this is what I had to accept that’s keeping me in my cycle.  It was Ugly and Petty – which also clears up why so many other things keep showing their face.

I, Niki Lakia Alston, get so distracted by BULLSHIT AND $5 – I mean what can I say I don’t play when it comes to my tips- as I am so serious and enjoy my waitress life – more than I like to admit too- certain levels of Freedom in that restaurant world that the reminder of the world forces you to lie or deny.

That it almost knocked me off one of  the Greatest Revelations thus far.

See Faith is believing That God got You, Let It Go , Let IT Be,

Doubt and listening to people EVERYWHERE BE IT IN PERSON OR TV tells you all the things you need to be doing.

God Got It so Let IT Be

You see I Love Everything about Letting it be except this _”where is the money to live letting it be -be”

So I grab this- I do that – and in my grabbing and doing I Love to jump at waitressing and then have to argue about $5 and tips – SMH

However this morning was a return back to schedule without my doing- the hours changed – so 6 AM service returned, and I finished everything at 5 PM- so 7 PM returned and I got this

“Stop letting the pettiness Demon live in me – no more. So fucked up in the game something is STILL always being stolen from me in ALL AREAS because I rob my own joy being in these circles and not knowing how to ignore the shit and except it for the reason you enjoy that circle anyway.

Complain Yes- Kill No- Fight No -why -because the freedom I retreat to – Always shows me my foolishness in arguing over the $5 to begin with- stop getting sucked in to that shit

Head has not been done how I want it in the last five years because I refuse to give in- Laugh typing but serious for real -$5

Victor- Tell’em I made my Petty video

What can I say it’s been quite challenging to Live and Learn yet in Freedom I laugh, in your world I argue

Which life would You choose?

And which one shows?

Happy Friday World – Enjoy the Weekend

Tai Miles, Radreka Bradley Princessa Palmer- Hayes, Rhonda Watts and Nissa- Day 33 of Surrender – Grace and Glory -Day 83 of 365- Day 21 of 40 Day Lent- Grace-
Which One Shows?

The Wound Attempts to Help The Scar

I haven’t shared my own voice in awhile, the 1st Month of 2017 is coming to a close and the order of my focus has changed just a little
1. God
2. Self
3. My children
4. Family
5. The world in reference to the contributions I make currently
6. The world in reference to the contributions I will make towards the future

I have shared with some “Its taken me 20 plus years to get in this shit and it just may take me 20 plus years to get out of it.”

This year will mark my 7th year of Transition into many areas of life -spiritually, mentally, physically, emotionally, and Lord aw mercy for the financially. While I have gained milestone transitions in mindset; physically the Baby steps are in motion but as shared with a friend – “This year is the working for those steps to pick up speed”

But for the meantime in between time, in the words of a sermon by TD Jakes

“allow me to stitch your scar while I hold my wound”

We all know what and who we have in the physical office that has caused and created much chaos in a matter of 10 days. For many of us we know Who is the ruler and author of our life so whose in office doesn’t have much bearing on our lives anyway. Yet in my thinking, if we could see what’s at hand and work boldly together, while he is in the process of using everything in his power to destroy as much as possible, this is our opportune time to build and rebuild especially if we didn’t use the prior 8 years to do so.

Prior to this post I shared two videos that provide insight on building financially. Yesterday I wrote a document to assist towards a module for a financial literacy workshop. I amaze myself at times having access to some of the things I do but have yet to apply them to my own life, thus understand why I say:

“allow me to stitch your scar while I hold my wound”

The document i wrote yesterday addressed mindset, money and wealth. While there are many forces working in this world that play a part in much i.e. society, environments, levels of education, etc.
Between yesterday’s document and today’s video mindset, money, and wealth are three things we all have access too. How we are using them and what we are doing with them are the factors that we of the darker shades of hue have drastically got to change.

Once the financial literacy course is complete, I will share with you the dates and times the class will be offered. Please know that i am not the teacher of this class I only offered some insight towards mindset, money and wealth which was gained from two books I have been studying from, and some advice I know a few of my family members and friends are living..

So, in the meantime in between time “allow me to stitch your scar while I hold my wound” and close with this- examine the mindset, gain insight of money, and desire to know wealth

Because as rich as one may consider themselves to be, unless one has $1000-$5000 at disposal to share with anyone between the ages of 16-25, and I am not speaking of a charity, I am speaking of an actual individual on a monthly basis, and not miss it or have to care where its going, we are missing the mark to create the money and wealth that’s needed to sustain our Future.

Pay Attention to everything that’s being taken away and ask yourself if the bank was to drop today do you own most of what you have, can you rightfully say this is mine and it is paid for, other than clothes and shoes?

These are the things we have to change for Future- “allow me to stitch your scar while I hold my wound” and deeply consider our stand for our Future, and what can we currently do now to contribute to making and creating drastic changes.

PS the $1000-$5000 will be explained at another time but in between time consider all things ages 16-25 need and could use during this time on a monthly basis beside clothes, shoes, cell, and entertainment – and this is the start of ideas to develop that will come into play – thus being a creator and provider of opportunities

October 31, 2016 

Today I enjoyed – I have one hour 7 minutes before my baby girl, middle child, second daughter will be 13 years old- officially a teenager ( this was the time I started this note) 
We had a Great Time tonight and to place an end to a Perfect Day – I am sitting down reading Proverbs 31 for Day 31 of the month
The title of the 1st section Wisdom for Leaders verses 1-9
Title of second section Wise Women verses 10-31
Verses 8-9 
8. “Open your mouth for the speechless,

In the case of all who are appointed to die.

9. Open your mouth, JUDGE righteously, 

And plead the cause for the poor and needy.”

A few days ago I shared an article about Leaders knowing the difference between Judge to evaluate and Judgements-mental – making assumptions 

May I Be Blessed with Discernment to JUDGE WISELY- facts and truth- no more assumptions 

Happy Monday Evening last Day of October -55 minutes remain in this day (the time when finished typing and editing); the 60 day countdown to the closing of 2015 Strong, Honest, Trust and Focus – Lets Make IT Great with Much Love, Peace, Soul and Happiness